Secret Smiles
by alliejgk
Summary: Follow on from 'Checkmate'. Would it be so bad if he was falling?


Secret Smiles.

Relief flooded him as she took his hand and offered him that cheeky half smile. He'd come to love that smile and everything it represented. It was this small gesture, this tiny, insignificant half smile that let him know everything was going to be okay- at least for tonight- because she was going to be there with him. It was this sneaky seductive half smile that made him relax and forget the troubles of the world, because for the next few hours they would be the only two that existed. It was this secret smile that he knew was unleashed only for him, and he revelled in it.

As eager as he was to lose himself in their own little world of pleasure, her last words were running through his head, like a broken record;

"You better be careful Ollie, I'm going to start to think you're falling for me."

How was he supposed to take that? He was well aware that all she wanted was a 'no strings attached' fling. But he was steadily sinking deeper and deeper under the weight of her countless charms; her beauty, her wit and of course, those secret smiles. He wanted more from her and he was finding it hard to play along with her games anymore. He wanted to take her out in public, he wanted her on his arm at the monotonous social events, and he wanted to introduce her to the endless stream of glitterati as his girlfriend. In short, he wanted Oliver Queen and Chloe Sullivan- partners against all odds.

All of this was bubbling over inside him and she must have noticed- hell, she always noticed- because once they were inside the safety of the elevator, heading up to _Watchtower_, she asked;

"Something on your mind Ollie? You've barely said anything since..." She trailed off and he knew she had realised the source of his preoccupation. He opened his mouth to utter some sort of jokey retort or possible innuendo, but she cut him off. "Listen Ollie, you know I was only joking around earlier right? I mean, I don't know why I said it. Of course you're not falling for me, why would you be? I'm me and you're... well you. We're only having fun after all. No strings or ribbons." She had started off by addressing him directly but had lost conviction and slipped into muttering to herself. He could tell she was trying to fend off her insecurities while subtly telling him not to press the issue. However, Ollie couldn't help himself anymore, especially after she admitted her obvious lack of self-esteem.

There was a long pause as they exited the elevator and she silently led him towards her bedroom, still hand in hand. Ollie finally built up the courage and pulled her round to face him, asking;

"Would it be so bad?"

"Huh?" She looked up in confusion; staring right into his eyes as if she was trying to decipher the strange mix of emotions she saw there.

"Would it be so bad... if I was falling for you?" He eventually choked out.

He had never felt so nervous in his life, as he did now. Standing up in front of big business tycoons didn't bother him, fighting scumbags on the streets of Metropolis and Star City, as the _Green Arrow_, was like second nature to him now, but standing up in front of Chloe Sullivan and asking her to accept his love had him quaking in his Armani brogues. The wait was tearing him apart, slowly and painfully.

"Yes, it would." She breathed and he felt his heart fracture at her rejection. He dropped his hands from hers and turned away to hide his fast forming tears. He wasn't used to this, he was Oliver Queen- playboy- he was usually the one doing the heart breaking. A fountain of emotion erupted within him, anger made its way to the surface first.

"Why?" He shouted turning to face her again, not caring whether she saw his devastation. However, when he saw the silent tears streaming down her cheeks, he spoke again in a gentler tone- despite her distress; he decided to go for broke- "Why is it so bad that I'm in love with you?" He tried to judge her reaction to his confession; shock followed by sadness would be his call.

"Because if I let myself..." She paused and took a deep breath as if it was paining her to speak, "love you; I'll only lose you down the line. My heart's been broken so many times Ollie, the next time might just shatter it for good, into some unrecognisable, unfixable mess. I've been hurt so much- all my scars- I'm just beyond repair now."

She was breathing heavily as if trying to regain control after having her heart wrenched from her chest. She looked like she was losing some sort of inner battle after she let her guard down. Ollie hated to see her this way, especially having caused her this anguish. He mentally slapped himself for making her cry and vowed that he would never again be the cause of her tears. He wanted more than anything to console her but he wasn't sure how. If he told her he loved her again, surely she would have the same awful reaction. He'd made her open up to him and now she was paying the price. She'd concealed her demons for so long, that now they'd been released, they weren't being shut away again without a damn good fight. He wanted to swoop in and save her- to be her hero, but how could he if she didn't want him, if she didn't want his love?

"Chloe, I..."

"No Ollie, please don't coddle me with pretty clichés and false promises. I'm a big girl and you're a big boy. We may have gotten a bit bogged down a minute ago but we both know that whatever this relationship is, it comes second to our work and the safety of the world." He was shocked and a little impressed by her ability to push away her feelings and clinically deal with the situation. It worried him though, that even after her confession of insecurities, she would push him away and go on fighting it all alone. Before he could respond she was speaking again; "Ollie, I can see you're trying to think of something comforting or supportive to say, but don't! Don't tell me you'll always be there, or you'll never hurt me, or even that you love me, because we both know, in the long run, they're all lies."

"Okay Chloe. Is that what you want to believe then? That I'm some pathetic boy who could never make you feel special, or safe, or loved? That I'll let you down the instant things get rocky? That I'm just going to run away and leave you because I can't deal with the repercussions of a relationship? Come on Sidekick, you know me better than anyone else- I've made mistakes in that past, but when the chips are down I man up. I can be your hero if you'll let me. I can spend every day slowly sealing the cracks of your heart with tender kisses, but you have to want that. You can sit up here in this tower; hiding from it all if you want. But you can't ignore the world that's out there; you can't ignore me- because I'm not going to give up on you. Ever."

He was fuming and really wanted to punch something. Hard. He didn't regret what he'd said though, it may have been a little angrier than intended, but she'd pushed him too far with all her assumptions of him. Surely she knew him well enough to understand that if he said he loved her me meant it, and he meant it with all the commitments that came with it. Strings and ribbons included.

He was about to leave, too on edge to wait for her answer any longer, but she took his hand and tugged him back. Slowly she stepped towards him and gently skimmed a hand across his abdomen and around his to his back, hugging him tightly. He released her other hand and responded to the hug, pulling her in against him. They were so close it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. He let out a long sigh of breath that he didn't realise he'd been holding, as they both relaxed into one another. This moment of absolute perfection and togetherness went on for quite a while before he eventually moved his chin off the top of her head and leant in to her ear to whisper;

"I love you Chloe."

He felt her smile against his chest before she lifted her head and said;

"I love you too Oliver."

He couldn't contain his beaming smile. He tried to speak but words failed him, so instead he showed her the depth of his emotion with a long and passionate kiss. They both held on until the last second, until breaking desperately for air. He stood there and held her, just admiring her and marvelling at the fact that he had somehow gained the love of this amazing woman. He was still staring at her, taking in every inch of the moment before she broke his reverie with a cheeky half smile.

He loved those secret smiles.

But not as much as he loved her.


End file.
